Bullies

The act of bullying has been around for centuries; and yet nobody will do anything major about it.  Not a week goes by where I don't hear a report about one kid or another gets pushed and shoved around at school by another - or group of them - and yet, there's nothing the school or the parents are willing to do about it.  It's not that they can't do something about it; it's that they won't.

From day one of primary school, I was bullied by boys, teachers and other kids.  I wore glasses, had red hair and was pale with freckles... yep, I just about had a target painted on me that screamed: 'PICK ON ME!'  But really, I was just another student in the class who was sensitive and didn't want to be pushed around; just like anyone else there.  We had another kid who was a redhead and had worse freckles than me, but he didn't get picked on; don't know why, but he didn't.  My bully was Adam Vidler.  Soon he was joined by Adam Bower and his friends; not a good mixture.  For eight years, my life was a living hell (eight because I was kept back a year for failing maths) until year 7 when I had a rotten teacher who bullied me to the ends of the earth.  He picked on me for not being good at maths, sports and other subjects; and hated me being in the school band (to the extent that he'd lock me out of the room after assembly on Mondays and clean off the homework from the board on Tuesday afternoons when I was away at band practice just to get me into detention).  This teacher made my unbearable and I found I didn't want to go to school because of him; and because of the kids who were already making my life pure hell.

But it didn't end there.  I went to a different high school; and thought that a fresh slate would be a good thing.  So, instead of going to Springwood State High, I went to Rochedale High.  I wanted a new place to start; make new friends and see if I'd be able to work from there.  But that didn't happen.  On the first day, I was shoved into the bus wheel by tall blonde chick who made it out to be a joke and laughed; so I laughed along with her.  The next day, she did the exact same thing, and said:  "Get used to it!" I knew I was screwed.  From that day on, I spent my lunch hours avoiding her, running around the school to keep out of her way so she didn't pick on me - or other kids who she didn't like.  Yes, Vicki Brown didn't like people who weren't named the same at her (this I found out many years after school from a friend of mine named Vicki who was close friends with her and didn't know why.  This was why; how pathetic can you get, right?).  I ended up not caring if she saw me and - as the years passed - walking away from her when she made eye contact.  Her bullying began getting a little old by the third year in; all because it was the same old thing every single year.

Not that I'm a saint by any standards.  I did my fair share of pushing kids around; but I did it for the right reasons.  If I spotted a kid with cigarettes on the grounds of the high school (and I was in my senior  year by this stage), I'd freely grab the smokes off him, take one and find a teacher and say that he/she gave me one to teach them a lesson on what not to do on school grounds.  Yes, I did that.  But I never purposely followed kids around and made their lives hell just because I thought it was funny.  That's just sickening.  I did that to that student because he was underaged to have cigarettes, it was illegal to have them on school grounds and he was making a display of having them on his person.  So, really, I was helping him by making an example of him; even if I did hurt his feelings.

However, when I left school in year 11, the only place I didn't get bullied - I found - was college.  The people who attended there were serious about their education.  They didn't have time to pick on each other as they were too busy studying their chosen subjects to be so childish.  We were in between school and the workforce; and passing our subjects were the main things on our minds.

Once in the workforce, though, I found the schoolyard came back and bit me in the butt again.  I worked for RACQ and once I began working - even though I found it extremely difficult at first and very tiring - I was bullied by most of the girls there.  They were very clicky and wouldn't let me in on anything they did; but expected me to put in money for their birthdays, anniversaries and other celebrations.  Yet, they didn't bother celebrating my 21st birthday on the day because none of them put it down on the calendar.  So, to get them back, I waited until 5pm and talked about what a great day they had planned for me... how nice it was for them to take me to lunch, the little pressies, the cards and morning and afternoon teas were just lovely.  When they said they didn't do that, I exploded at them all that 'of course you didn't!'  I called them selfish bitches and any other names I could think of (quite a few I can't repeat here) and then I signed out and walked off after I said that my bosses were off the hook seeing they employ me; but the rest of them most certainly were not!  And still, they didn't learn their lesson... I wasn't included in the follow year's calender either.

A few years later, I arrived at work to find one of the girls had decorated my desk with streamers and gotten everyone to sign a card for me.  The whole department had moved and a few new people had been employed here and there; and I found it was the most wonderful thing to have been remembered like this.  Even now - so many years later - I still remember how nice my drab old desk looked with all those colourful streams draped across it.  It was such a great day too; and to think, I nearly took a Roster Day Off because of the last time I celebrated a birthday at work.

It's been years since I have done any paid work; but it doesn't mean that there's no bullying in the outside world.  Where I live - in a unit complex - there's plenty of bullying between people.  It's a matter of boundaries and attitudes in places like this; and it can get really horrible sometimes, while other times it's a matter of standing up for yourself and being your own army.

Otherwise, I can say that once you've left school, it does get easier.  The kids at school aren't there anymore to push and shove you around; and if you do run into them, usually it's in the workforce under very different circumstances.  However, if they think they can take off from where they left off, it's them who haven't grown up, not you.  It just depends on how you deal with them... and there's no shame in just simply walking away from them and telling them to grow up.  In any language, country and at any age you - or somebody you know - will be exposed to bullying.  It will affect you from the beginning of school (or whenever it began) until you find help to deal with it (like I have in recent years).  Otherwise, please do have a zero tolerance for bullying; no matter where you are in life or in your city/country.  If you see anyone being picked on by somebody else, do try to help them by standing up for them and being there to assist them with whoever's bugging them at the time.  Until my next post, take care, keep warm, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.